Purpose
Disenrage is where I write thoughts on life and spirituality. This is the human perspective. If you’re looking for my unwoke work (the polar opposite of this), head over here.
Tonight’s Soundtrack:
When I look back at my life so far, there’s a rhyme and reason to it.
I see the flawed beings that are my parents show up over and over again. They did their best - remember, they also learned from their parents - but, as with all parents, mistakes were made. And kids bear the burdens of those mistakes.
I won’t bore you with the mistakes and the lessons I’m doomed to learn from them in this lifetime are, but suffice it to say that a good bit of my adulthood has been an active rebellion against the mistakes that my parents made.
And I think that’s true with most people.
When I look back, I also see how every trauma or really negative experience always had a purpose - it would push me in the direction I needed to go. So even when things were deeply traumatic (I’m still working on dealing with one or two of them), they led me to a new understanding, a new perspective, a new opportunity…all of which pushed me in the direction I believe I’m meant to be going.
Life is funny like that.
I believe we all come here having made the decision to have certain types of experiences are and learn certain types of lessons, but we also have free will. So, we can make decisions that might take us off of the path we chose spiritually. However, I find that life gets harder when you’re off track, and eventually it will have a way of gently nudging you back in the direction you’re supposed to be walking in…whether you like it or not.
So, then, there is a purpose to major events that happen. Either you chose to experience something like that prior to your human birth, or they’re nailing you right back on your bath and hopefully you learn from the experience (which is the purpose of life in the first place: experience).
Your trauma happens for a reason. I’ll get in trouble for saying that by the purity nazis of the internet who aren’t capable to taking responsibility for their own life experience and have to blame everyone else for their dissatisfaction. But it’s true. Our trauma are not purposeless. They mean something.
If you had to experience your greatest trauma to make you the person you need to be to fulfill the destiny you chose, would you chose to do it?
Or would you choose the life a perfect life without impurity, but one that would never challenge you and in which you would experience no spiritual growth?
If you want the most boring experience possible, choose option B I guess. But, to me, the only thing that makes sense is the first one - trauma can lead to our most profound lessons. The dark nights of the soul lead to the most profound spiritual
Things happen for a reason, the good things and the bad things.
So when shitty things happen, just roll with it. It’s ok to lick your wounds or cry or go off and do a metric fuck ton of drugs (not enough that you put yourself in danger, but you know, enough) to cope…you can allow yourself to have time to be sad, hurt, angry, whatever it is…but at some point, you have to tell yourself that the trauma you experienced will not destroy you an, in fact, will lead you to be the person you need to be to do the things you need to do. And it might hurt for a long long time….but, if you allow it to, one day you’ll wake up and it will start to get better. And then it will get a little more better. And a little more better after that.
The more you believe these things serve you in some way, that they are leading you down the road you’re meant to travel, you will be able to make the best of really awful situations.
Your pain doesn’t have to be for nothing. It can have a purpose.